It’s officially been one week since I packed up my belongings in my trusty little Jetta, strapped my bike to the back of my parents car, and drove from a place of comfortability into the complete unknown. I wouldn’t call myself brave. It’s all Jesus. This kind of trust in the future comes solely from the hands of the Lord.
I loved my life in small town Monrovia. I loved going on runs in the tree-lined neighborhood, stopping in for ice cream in the downtown that so perfectly resembled Stars Hollow (thanks for tainting my dreams, Gilmore Girls), and holding babies in the nursery every Sunday morning.
I so so so dearly loved babysitting my sweet little family- with 3 kids that I adore and have missed everyday since my departure. I loved preschool drop-off on Thursday mornings, dancing and making snapchat videos with sweet Truly Star. Taking August to various therapies and target runs, and feeding him endless popcorn and yogurt. Watching him learn to walk, say words, and then snuggling him before nap time. Jumping on the trampoline with Macy girl, causally throwing the best dance parties in the living room, watching her learn her sight words and eventually, earn student of the month. These memories are irreplaceable and will forever hold a huge section of my heart. (Currently tearing up because I miss them so). Through this family, I learned so much about loving selflessly, pursuing hard and holy things, what teamwork looks like in marriage, all things Down syndrome & adoption (which now I totally want for my own future life), and following the Lord’s call in your life. Their hospitality and generosity mean so much to me.
Which brings me to San Diego. But first, let me talk to you a little about my experience with graduating…
Graduating college is a weird thing. Sure, the actual day of graduation is fun because it’s the first time you realize you don’t have any more homework to do, ever. (This is a lie, past Abby. Future Abby is doing lots of studying now). I was surrounded by my family and friends, and the affirmations of my success were pleasant to hear. And then a couple days or weeks later, it hits you. Adulthood is hard.
I loved school. I loved learning from professors, going to chapel, living with my best friends, and running around Pasadena completely care-free. But loneliness isn’t something they talk to you about before you graduate. The best friends you’ve spent the last 3-4 years with leave. They get married or move on in various directions. After I graduated, I quickly found jobs to replace school, had a wonderful church community, was strengthening my relationship with the Lord, but was trying so desperately to fight this loneliness. 4 months later, I was still battling this and decided enough was enough. I had great friends, great jobs, a great church, great mentors… But I knew life could be more. I trusted God had better things planned for me and I had faith that although life in Monrovia was awesome, there was more out there. I didn’t want to settle. I wanted to jump into the unknown with an open heart and an open mind.
God had better and bigger things planned, and I was finally ready to take that leap of faith.
One week in San Diego, and I’m completely in awe of the Lord’s goodness. Just two months ago, I was so angry with the Lord for taking something so good away and questioning if he wanted me to be happy… And then I came here. His ultimate goal for my life isn’t that I’m happy. But that I can find happiness, fulfillment, joyfulness, and purpose in him. And I have found it. I have learned more and more each day about the Lord and his purpose for my life. These are little snippets or “God winks” of what I have experienced in the last week: I’m 20 minutes from the beach and can watch the sun set over the water any time I want. I found a gym that I can bike to, one that also has an outdoor lap pool (I broke out my old swim team suit this week!). My roommate is heaven sent and our apartment is just the cutest. I’ve enjoyed making all my meals in my own kitchen and even made my dad’s famous cookie recipe the other night! (These cookies are now all gone. Thankfully they were very healthy 🙌). I accepted a job offer to become an ABA tutor for kids with Autism and other developmental disabilities, and have already started my training to become a Registered Behavioral Technician. I attended a service at Mosaic SD this morning and am in prayer over where God wants me to meet his church and family.
The Lord is good, he is faithful. Life is good, and I cannot wait to see what tomorrow holds.
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,
for his steadfast love endures forever…
to him alone does great wonders,
for his steadfast love endures forever.